Taunting Diety

Making overwhelming attempts to find the beauty in situations of rage has left me decimated. Walking on eggshells will end soon enough. Change begets change; I know this and make attempts to embrace reality while still desperately clinging to the past. Society is always going to be like this. Different people, same issues. So does this mean we should just jump off a building and plummet to an unavoidable afterlife? Do they expect me to continue? My feet have begun to bleed, it must stop. Death comes from a so called joy. Joining of two lives at the expense of another. Break these bonds only to be shackled again, tighter. Worn out. I lay silently. Darkness encases me as the sound moves above. Now I must construct a plan to get rid of myself before suicide is the only exit. Breathing has become an unimaginable chore. Every motion moving me closer to death and I move on. If I just run it will follow but will that stop me? Burial at sea. Dancing alone. Giving it all for nothing in return. Can this really make me stronger or is God laughing at me?