U-16

I am no longer the All-American protagonist of the story. I relinquished that title, cast off the innocence of my youth. Now I am lost, a world of nowhere. Wanting desperately to put on my shows and run as far away as I can. But when I run, every intersection is identical to the last. Desperately searching for the correct series of turns and forward motions to get me out of this place. Somewhere. Anywhere. Anywhere but nowhere. The more I try, the more I realize it’s impossible. I can’t go back. I am no longer able to enjoy life the way I used to, the way many of you still do. Nowhere is a fucked up place to be, but it could be worse. I could be like some of the others who don’t even realize they’re lost. Moving through life assuming their making some progression. I don’t want to be there in six years when they find they’ve been going around in circles, crushing everything they thought to be real. As for me, I know I’m lost, and I’m not really looking for a way out. Because it is on one of these solemnly deserted back streets that I hope to find myself. Probably resting quietly under an antiquated street lamp, writing letters to God and humming The National Anthem. So to myself I say, “Wait where you are. I’m sure to make the right turn at some point and then we’ll both get out of here. Out of nowhere…”